A Letter to Minka Kelly

Dear Minka,

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is A.J. and I am the author of “Yankee Yapping.” I would like it to be known that I am NOT dating anyone and I was hoping there is a chance that I could date you.

That is, if you’re ready to start dating again.

I’d like to offer my condolences and let you know you’re in my thoughts. I am sorry to hear about your breakup with Yankee captain Derek Jeter. I know what it’s like to go through a breakup, and trust me, I understand it’s not fun.

But they say sadness flies away on the wings of time.

I may not be as rich as Derek, but I am a college graduate, I have a job, I’m decent-looking, and I’m funny. Four out of five will (ahem) land most chicks. Also, see my previous blog post; I’m an inspiration – again, maybe not as inspirational as your ex, but still, it’s a selling point.

Minka, you are as beautiful as a rose; if Derek couldn’t recognize that he must be out of his mind. I hope everyone in the world can see your picture, just so they can get a glimpse of what a perfect woman looks like. I can’t even compare you to any other woman on the planet because there is no comparison; you are the fairest of them all.

You put every Disney Princess to shame with your beauty and elegance.

Whatever happens, I just hope you end up with someone really great. (I am great; a very sweet and sensitive guy, just letting you know). Please contact me through twitter (@OriginalAJ615) and maybe we can go out to dinner sometime?

My treat!

Then we could go back to your place and watch the premiere of Charlie’s Angels on TV. I would say we could go back to my place, but I have a framed poster of Derek Jeter on my wall and he’s smiling. I don’t think you want to be reminded of your breakup, so your place is probably better off.

Sound like a good date night? It does to me. Let me know! I promise I’ll be good to you. And it’ll be fun !

Love,

A.J. “Yankee Yapping.”

P.S. If by some act of God we do go out once or twice, and you find me texting you at least once a day it means I LIKE YOU. So please know that. Don’t make it seem that you like me back, then one day I go on Facebook and you have a boyfriend who isn’t me. That’s happened to me four times in my life. I don’t like it. It makes me sad. :(

“I’ll be your crying shoulder…I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.” – Edwin McCain

I don’t want another pretty face. I don’t want just anyone to hold; I don’t want my love to go to waste. I want you & your beautiful soul.” – Jesse McCartney …Yeah, I DID just quote Jesse McCartney and no, I can’t believe it either. It just fits.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 25 other followers

%d bloggers like this: